Happy Mother's Day!

These were taken on my first (real) Mother's Day. I was just a few weeks pregnant last year but Rick and I only suspected then. I didn't want to share false news to the family even though Rick was about to explode with the mere thought of me being pregnant. We actually did a pregnancy test after our family Mother's Day event so that Rick wouldn't "accidentally" say something.

Dearest Amelie,

I want you to know that becoming a mother has changed my life in a way that I could not have even imagined. I am so honored to stand among an amazing group of women who call themselves mothers. What does it mean to be a mother? To me, every day I face new challenges and obstacles to overcome. It's tough not knowing exactly what you want, why you won't stop crying, or how to get rid of a diaper rash that's so bad it is literally bleeding. I've been told by several people including an allergist that you have very sensitive skin so I must always be conscious of the products, bandages, and even clothes you wear. On top of that, there's the sleep deprivation, the occasional fountain poop that lands on the carpet, the weekly pee that lands on my clothes, endless dirty clothes - usually from poop that has escaped out the back of the diaper - that I have to clean by hand, endless bottle feeding even though I breastfeed , ohh and the breastfeeding... probably the most difficult part for me. Having experienced all of that, I would not change becoming a mother for anything in the world. It has its ups and downs but overall its incredibly gratifying to know that I am the center of a tiny little baby's whole world. In the occasional event that I'm not holding you, I watch you scan the room for me with a worried look until you find me. Only then do you feel comforted. To you, I am the ultimate comfort blanket. You don't know that I secretly do the same thing. When you look up at me and smile, you absolutely melt my heart. I've never had someone love me so much and that feeling is awesome. To me it's more than just being a mother. I am so proud to have YOU as my daughter. I can honestly say I have the perfect child in you. You are smart, you are beautiful, you are fun to play with and take pictures of and talk to. I just love making you smile but to make you laugh is a real treat. Amelie, I love you to the moon and back and I am so grateful that God answered my prayers and brought you into my life as a perfect, happy and healthy baby girl.

Love,
Mommy